Tut, Tut by Jon Scieszka

Author:Jon Scieszka
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin USA, Inc.

“With a face like yours, a little makeup couldn’t hurt,” said Sam. “Besides haven’t you ever heard the saying, ‘When in Rome, do as the Romans’?”

“Everyone will be wearing this—men and women,” I added.

“Number one, we are not in Rome,” said Fred. “And number two, haven’t you ever heard the saying, ‘If everybody else jumped off the Brook lyn Bridge, would you too?’”

We finally talked Fred into a bracelet and a bit of black stuff around his eyes. Sam and I laced up our sneakers. Fred put on his Blue Jays cap, and we followed our guide into the banquet hall.

Hundreds of people were already there, eating, drinking, lounging around on benches and talking. Men and women were dressed in fancy pleated robes with twice as much jewelry and makeup as we had. Some of the women even had smelly cones of waxy stuff on their heads. No one gave us a second look. I wanted to find Thutmose and start figuring out a plan to find Anna and The Book, but Fred, as usual, had other ideas.

“Food! Look at that food!” The table in the center of the hall was piled high with roasted meats, fish, bread, fruits, and flowers. We followed Fred as he cut a path through the crowd to the food table. He grabbed a leg of roasted bird.

“Mmmm ... duck. Or maybe goose.” Another grab. “Bread. Mmmrph ... a little chewy.” Fred raised a green cup. “A little something to wash it down—woo! Wine.”

“Fred,” I whispered, pulling at his robe. “Take it easy. Let’s try to act like very important guests, so we don’t get into any more trouble.”

Then we calmly and very importantly loaded our plates with roasted bird, figs, grapes, cucumbers, and bread. We finished that and came back for ox meat, more fruit, fish, nuts, and honey.

Sam wiped up the last bit of honey on his plate with a piece of bread and leaned back with a satisfied sigh. “I think I could get used to this.”

Fred went back for one more helping of bread and ox meat. “That was just what I needed. All of that b-ball and surfing can make a guy hungry.” Fred polished off the last of his custom-made ox burger and wiped his mouth on the sleeve of his robe. “Now let’s get down to business and figure out how we’re going to get out of here.”

I looked around the room full of people still eating, drinking, and talking. “We’re miles away from Hatshepsut’s temple,” I said. “I don’t know how we’re ever going to get back there to find Anna and The Book.”

“No problem,” said Fred. “We’re friends of the Pharaoh. He can get us anything we want.”

“I don’t know,” said Sam, pessimistic as always. “You know how our adventures usually turn out. I still can’t believe we’re in ancient Egypt and haven’t been trapped in a pyramid or wrapped up like mummies with our vital organs in jars and our brains pulled out our noses with a hook.

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